When I feel like I have completely lost control of my life I find that seducing and taking or dismissing a lover makes me feel like I have control. Being caught in a web of obligation and responsibily pins my wild spirit to the wax board. I can glimpse my brazen spirit when a woman risks everything, break vows, and shames her husband just to fuck me. Getting, keeping, collecting, making, and preserving my own secrets -- my own interests -- makes me feel like my master. My reputation is my own to keep -- or to ruin -- and not their's. My secrets -- the wives I fuck in dark motel rooms, bellies as exposed to harm as family and career -- take power away from them. I can commit suicide rather than being murdered.